When the blogger's away....

See what happens when you don't update your blog?

No?  You don't see it?  Over here....no wait.....a little more left.....little mooooore.....THERE!!  NO! WAIT!  Ugh, you almost had it.

Ok, fine...you don't see it....it's a blog, not a magical portal to the mystical world of my stupidity.

So, enough bullhonkey, it's about time we update this biiiiaaaatch!(Sorry blog, I don't think you're a biatch....although you have your days)

After two years of trying, we are finally EXPECTING!  That's right, Baby #2 is due 3/31/13, that is of course if the world doesn't end thanks to an extinct group of people that the "educated, civilized world" insists on taking the advice of. 
SIDEBAR: On that note, can I just ask WHY the HELL no one has stepped back and realized that we're all terrified over a group of people who perished due to bad planning; all while consulting their dayplanner?  HELLOOOO!!!!
I just don't get it, but hey, we're the most advanced, scientifically intelligent, technologically apt species in the history of the world....at least I'm pretty sure, let me double check that through my tea leaves here......

So back to the point....yes, scary as it is, we have procreated once again.  We are very excited, especially Little One, who is turning into Big Older One, because he is no longer little.

It's actually been kinda weird and surreal this time, in a good way.  We were officially done trying when the doctor told us to give up and gave us a number of a fertility specialist, which, by all means go for it, more power to you, but we just decided as a couple that if that's the case, then we were pretty much throwing in the towel.
A week later I was pregnant.  And I am surprised we found out so early, at 4 weeks.  On my birthday.  Oh, and HusbandMan, as much as you keep trying to claim that as my birthday present, uh, dude, I'm still thinking you owe me one...... ;)

So now the big pool is what sex the baby is, and everyone-and I mean EVERYONE, minus HusbandMan and my father think it's a girl....more wishing, I assume, because every child in our friends and family have been boys in the last seven years. 

I think I'm going to open up a gender pool just to see how much mon-uh, how many people think it's one vs. another...hehe :)

The coolest part about all this is five seconds after the dreaded Facebook announcement, I got a few messages from friends telling me they were pregnant as well and just haven't been as insane as us to announce it so early, which I was not only stoked, but also tickled that they trusted me with that cute little secret until they let the news out.  So being pregnant with some of my most awesome friends is pretty awesome, although that scene from Romy & Michelle popped in my head...

Although, we're not bitches and, frankly, I'd kill to have that chick's arms;

 (I have more like a "uh, did you have too many cheese fries?" belly at the moment.)

Now, I'm not one to complain, especially when given a miracle after losing all hope.  But I do have to point out something that has recently occurred to me, and help me out girls if this hasn't happened to you....

I'm starting to wonder if the human brain erases all memories of the BS you had to endure in the previous pregnancies.  Now, hear me out....

When the time comes to have another child, you reminisce about the last time you were pregnant.  You think about the kicking, and the glowing, and the time HusbandMan played guitar until you fell asleep, and how he read his novels to your belly until you fell asleep.

Then you become pregnant again, anticipating those wonderfully peaceful moments that bonded you and your partner. 

As you close your eyes to smile, you suddenly pop them open....

BLLEEAAHHCCHHCHHCHCHH!!!!!!
What the hell?  I didn't throw up my LAST pregnancy.....

This is around the time you learn that all pregnancies are different.

Just when the nausea subsides, in comes the horrendous vertigo that leaves you mumbling and shying from light, outwardly praying for mercy while you spin the room again just for glancing at the video games the first one is playing on TV.

When the vertigo finally leaves, you finally get off the couch....only to find...you CAN'T get off the couch, your groin is so sore from the pulled ligaments and muscles, you feel like you just finished a training session with Nadia Comaneci.

Yo, can I borrow your thighs for, like, the next six months??????

Now that you're hunched over, limping, wondering why you're not a prime candidate for LifeAlert, you wonder how on earth you managed to skid on by last time without any of these symptoms.  Not to mention, I don't remembering my boobs hurting the ENTIRE time last time....to the point that if I get a chill, my boobs shiver last and DAMN it hurts!!!!!

I also believe my bladder was damaged, or traumatized last time, because it has reverted to about half its size, I'm guessing.  I am up in the middle of the night EVERY NIGHT like clockwork to pee.  That didn't happen last time either.

Honestly, the only thing I remember was horrendous heartburn and pelvic floor pain right before I went into labor, that's it!  Other than that it was 9 months of cheese fries, lemonade and tuna sandwiches (don't you judge me, he came out fine!!!!)

Ok, well, MOSTLY fine.....



Help me out here, girls, because I have been talking to the other moms due around the same time (which, may I add, can someone tell me what the hell was so sexy around the 14th of July that caused this baby boom????  All I remember is an elevated temperature....) but they're all experiencing some seriously different symptoms this time around. 

All I know is I'm not gonna complain, but I will observe, and this girl JUST got rid of her stretch marks, in time to get a nice purple sheen to them....THAT's a nice little visual for ya ;)

And I'll probably post belly pictures soon, we're in a huge debate about whether this is a baby bump or I'm still digesting lunch......