I always say if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. No one ever hears me saying it because I'm usually the asshole with my mouth shut preventing the saying from even happening. Now if I don't say freakin SOMETHING I will most definitely combust.
I gave up Facebook for Lent, which some people think is stupid, and others think is genius. I'm inchin toward the genius side of the room. Number one, it's a problem when you wake up and immediately check your Facebook before you get out of bed. Number two, I figured the less drama I read, the less stressed I will get. I had to revise it, and only use it for work(meaning only going on my business' page and my team pages) and for Bestie, whose little one decided to enter the world much earlier than expected. Two things have developed from this choice.
First, it's true, I am ridiculously, blissfully ignorant of the bullshit and retardation that Facebook has sprung on us as a society. Grown adults ruining lifelong friendships over "defriending" and vague, emo status updates, stupid political views without all the facts that make them look like backwater swamp people, and 742 pictures of people's pets chewing on toilet paper tubes. It's insanity. What happened to calling people on the phone and a five minute conversation of, "Oh, hello, how are you? I'm good. Hey haven't seen you in a while, what's new? Uh huh, uh huh, awesome, nothing new here, but hey it was good talking to you. Call you soon!" Instead, we're slowly turning into those fat people from WALL-E on Hoverounds, looking at our own little screens and drinking tacos out of Big Gulps and zooming around completely unaware of the world around us. Except, of course our little bubble of lies that is Facebook. On Facebook everyone's lives look soooo wonderful and busy and fulfilled. Then Emotionally Questionable friend calls and you don't have time to have dinner this week, but logs on and sees that you've been hanging out with your buddies Fun While Drunk, Only Calls on Your Birthday, Guy Who Only Hangs Out With You if it's Something He Wants to Do, and Pessimistic Outlook Man. Then the shit hits the fan, and suddenly you're in some high school silence contest. When in reality, you've had food poisoning for two days, Fun While Drunk tagged you in a photo from four months ago, Birthday Guy went out to dinner, only to be three hours late, stay fifteen minutes and shove the bill to you, and Hang Out and Pessimistic Outlook Dude only called you out because they tagged you in a picture of a hedgehog pooping on a log while saying, "EFF FRIDAYS". You only noticed because your text notifications beeped while you were picking up socks from every room in the house because no one knows what a laundry hamper is.
So that's all gone. And it's nice. No drama, I'm personally giving less of a shit as each day passes.
Unfortunately, on the other side of the spectrum, I find myself wanting to "like" bumper stickers on cars, stop the first person I see when I think of something funny, explain the long winded inside joke that only I get, and pop my head up because DAMN! That would be a good status update! Keeping it all in is dangerous, but beneficial. Dangerous in the sense that once capacity is reached a complete word and idea vomit will commence. Beneficial, because now that fabulous life I seemed to have had on Facebook is actually getting fabulous, because I'm logging a whole list of cool shit I've done in the last day or so instead of updating every five seconds what is for dinner, or what Little One said in the car, and funny thing-I have stuff to talk about when Husband Man gets home now! When he asks how my day was, "meh" is no longer the answer! Ok, so he gets this long winded account of a play-by-play of my day, including what I ate, who said what, and why I decided to re-alphabatize my iTunes by "general feel of song", but hey, we're talking here!
I'm also at the point of pulling that top ten list for Easter. "100 things I did while NOT on Facebook"...what do you think? It's actually kinda catchy.....I'm so doing it. The only thing that is wrong with this picture? My mom got all sad when I called her the other day, because I "Barely see (her) as it is and now that Facebook isn't an option, (she'll) never hear from (me) again". Really? And as a sidenote, she's not the only one to place this on me. Friends from work, friends from Husband Man's work, have mentioned this social self-exile. I do have a phone, and it takes emails, calls, and texts. Just sayin'.
And no one will read this, because I usually post blog entries....onto Facebook. Sigh.
In the meantime, a couple things that will go on my 100 list, which is pretty cool considering I've been off Facebook for less than two weeks:
Became an Auntie
Filmed a Movie
Sweet, right? There, just a taste. Now it's back to finding more socks in the living room. I mean, honestly...
